I wrote the first spanglish Ziploc book EVER!!!
HISPANIC PANIC: My California adventure
by: Amalia Andrade (Cali, Colombia, 1987. Author of unpublished books like: Flash Fiction, One Hundred Years of Lesbian Solitude and Pride and Prejudice and Lesbian Zombies)
Chapter1: Venice Beach- Santa Monica Pier
Chapter2: Hispanic Panic
Chapter4: Christo and Jean Claude
Chapter5: Female Masculinity
Chapter6: San Francisco y Silvio, el conductor del tour bus
Chapter7: Inka miamooor
Chapter8: Paddle Paddle Paddle
Chapter9: First born unicorn, hard core, soft porn (Roadtrippin on Highway1)
Chapter10:Big Sur, you and I.
Chapter11: Matthew McConaghey´s private playa
Chapter12: The Burrito lady from Whole Foods who kept sending us mixed messages.
Chapter13: Are you a drug addict? Porque you look like one.
Chapter14: Random Strap-on Sex
Chapter16: Malita de los Nervios meets. Nervous Nelly
Chapter17: 1711 Linden Av.
Chapter18: This is my proof.
CHAPTER 5 - Female Masculinity
We were in the car driving towards Hollywood Boulevard. I asked B. whether she thought I was femme or butch (B. is neither, she is a lipstick lesbian or so says P.)
B said - “Oh, you are definitely femme”
I said I thought I was a hard femme, soft butch. In Colombia I’m not quite a marimacho but I’m definitely not girly. In Colombia people say I walk like a lesbiana.
Off course I walk like a lesbiana, I am one.
P. told us the story about the day she was walking down the street and someone said - look, LESBIANS.
The thing is, in my country when a lesbian chooses what to wear she always asks:
“Me veo muy lesbiana con esto?”
This is because in Colombia it is O.K to be a lesbian as long as you don´t look like one.
Straight people never ask: “Do I look too straight in this outfit?”
NOTE: Actually, in Colombia is not O.K to be a lesbian, at all.